Since introductions are for wimps and people who aren't running from a submission deadline in 2 hours, let's hop right into this week's installation of shawarma-themed AWESOME. Previous incarnations can be found here. Hark!

1. Reading

Yes, at long last, your resident newbie Murakami fan and sayer of things like "Of course I'm right, I read Haruki Murakami" has gotten her hands on his newest book which apparently sold a milli copies in Japan on release. #Dedication
Review to come? Review to come.

We have an Instagram now!

2. Listening to

Ladies, if ever you need to werk a new pair of heels, this is all the soundtrack you need:

Tiwa Savage puts it DOWN. Ever since Kele Kele I've been a fan, and having just caught her brilliant video with another favourite, Waje (I still listen to "inspired" before I walk by the valley of the shadow of death), I am firmly Team Tiwa. Check it.

3. Watching

Teen Wolf. Yeah. I don't understand either. Having watched season 1 when it just came out & giving myself a concussion from violently rolling my eyes, I had no interest in continuing with the series. In a fit of boredom, I located the season 3 DVD some accursed servant of evil had left lying around, and then it was morning and I'd watched the whole thing.

For...reasons. offcolortv

Seeing as how they finally dropped the 'pale creeper' shtick for Derek (which I suspect was decided upon in the Twilight days) and switched it up to tan, bulked up, strong silent Derek, I am here. for. it. Seriously.
The storylines are still heavily O___o worthy, but it's easy watching for a chill night in/Sunday afternoon. This is not a recommendation.

Honourable Mention
As a card-carrying member of team "Needs to Get off the internet", I read a LOT of excellent blogs and sites. Starting (whenever I'll get around to) the next wrap up of shawarmy goodness, a brief description and link of said amazeballs sites/blogs/sellers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer merchandise will be included.

In the spirit of this post, have a half-assed weekend filled with tan werewolves and cheating boyfriends wearing excellent makeup. Au revoir!

I sincerely doubt any other articles have been as pushed forward as the book reviews promised ages ago. The simplest explanation: how can you possibly do a writer’s words, what they painstakingly crafted, any further justice without utterly corrupting the source material into an unrecognizable pile of SRSLY?

Still beefing. moarpowah

Short answer: you don’t. You speak your opinion and hope whoever is reading the review is cool with spoilers and agrees with you because all other points of view are wrong & you’re the only one that really gets the author.
Please proceed to the 5 things you'll enjoy the most in the book, below:

1.       The Story
At its core, the story follows the traditional formula:

(Background/Introduction of characters) à (boy & girl meet) à (boy & girl get to digging each other)
     è (boy and girl are separate by obstacles) à (boy and girl overcome)

Wecker does a pretty admirable job of making you forget you’re essentially reading a rom com and subconsciously adding Catherine Hiegel’s face after every 3 female characters.

Or, worse. *adorkables internally* giphy

2.       The Characters
The Golem is the ultimate Mary Sue if you look closely enough, which we won’t, because we like this story and want it to prosper. More than anyone else, you’ll either identify with her or root for her the entirety of the story. Admittedly, having watched that Supernatural episode that featured a Golem messed with my ability to picture her as described but that’s my problem to be discussed with a therapist at a later date.
The Jinni is the consummate bad boy type in that way that falls on the right side of the line between charismatic & slap-a-dude that doesn’t actually happen ever at all anywhere. Capricious, lacking in general self-control, alladat. Ladies, when you wake up next to that alcoholic bad boy you married and begin to ask yourself why, this is it. This is why.

Worth it!

The supporting cast is lovely as well: from the respective ‘caretakers’ of our protagonists to even the major antagonist. Sure, the wizard guy is terrible and evil, but you have to kind of feel bad for him in this incarnation: he literally had no choice in the matter, being predestined to evil (granted, by his former lives, but still, dude had no chance). The Doctor haunted me well after I’d finished the book: to have been dealt such an ugly lot by virtue of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, then still be incredibly selfless at the end of the book. Not everyone and most certainly not me would have been so kind, courageous an all-around stand up person. You guys! *tears up*

3.       The Setting
History buff, here. I admit to greatly romanticizing the lost years when everyone wore hats and ladies dropped their kerchiefs and said “I do declare!” everywhere including ancient Egypt (these are listed as Queen Cleopatra’s first words), so this book was like a toned down glimpse into the fairy tale world I wish the late 1800s were like.
The setting, viewed with a cynical eye, is hella cliche: the two characters couldn't have been from more different cultures and backgrounds, a la Montagues and Capulets almost and ideally their paths needn't have crossed, but they do because moving the story along and also TRUE LOVE.
The descriptions of everything are spot on and merge nicely with the Gossip Girl New York map engraved in my brain to create an immersive backdrop to the central story. The descriptions of the work, the cafes, the culture, 10,000% history pr0n and I love it. Loved it, I say!

*is reduced to tears by swag overdose* 100megspop3

4.       The Writing
The writing style is super light and easy to read. The week it took me to finish this book (I’m actually busy, particularly when I’m avoiding things I’m actually meant to be doing) was the one week in the history of EARTH that I didn’t once switch on the internet on my phone. At all. Any free moment I had to be with my baby, I was on my e-reader.
It’s a great read with the tones you’d expect of each character coming out very clearly any making them that much more relatable.

5.       The Movie Potential
Don’t get it twisted: I most certainly do NOT want this to be turned into a movie. Really. Everyone can do without Jennifer Lawrence as the Golem and one of those One Direction chirruns as the Jinni. Making this book a movie also means we lose the internal monologues of each character, which can only cheapen the deeply nuanced story: most movie adaptations can do absolutely no justice to the source material.

STILL. BEEFING. moarpowah

If it WAS to be made, however, can’t you just picture it? Indulge me for a second: period pieces with the proper financial muscle behind them make for the most breathtaking visual experience in cinema. Exhibit everything: The Great Gatsby.
I loathe me some Daisy Buchanan but good heavens the sets! The clothing! The music! I’m learning Arabic just thinking about it. Even with this possibility, I do still hope Hollywood goes nowhere near this book, or if they do, appoint Michael Bay…to make sure the Golem explodes upon completion, taking out the Earth and everyone in it. *closing credits* It is the only way.

Final Score
Final score, if you hadn't guessed it, is 9,000 stars out of 5. For script-writing, romantic novels and delayed reviews, ‘tis I, Evey G. Have a good one.

#GirlBoss is the autobiographical book by Sophia Amoruso, fashun mogul & the entrepreneur extraordinaire founder of Nasty Gal. I'm not much for the fashion world but I do partake in girl power business-oriented literature so I figured what the hey. 

Speaking of #GirlBosses.

The Good
The book is actually well written to begin with. When a book has you sneaking every spare minute, even on the supermarket queue (where I was buying vegan, wholesome goods and definitely not Oreos), to read that one extra page, the book is well written. The tone that comes through the entire thing is refreshing honesty. Sophia isn’t looking to sell you her story as an ideal, she’s honestly sharing what has happened, what and how she’s thought and you can tell that she’s being real. Most of us make a point of not reading biographical books like this because the angle is always “started from the bottom, now I’m here. Marvel at my success and make me richer by buying this book. Did I mention that I’m successful? Because I am. Like, SUPER successful”. Where Sophia is coming from is she started from the bottom, and this is how she clawed, bled and climbed each torturous step, with little emphasis on the whole I’M WINNING thing.

The story will kick you in the butt. And I have a narrow butt so I most certainly felt it. You’re going to want to put more effort into your *insert side hustle, main hustle, or current project here* with immediate effect and a zeal that only Santa’s overworked and underpaid elves can muster. The first I should say half of the book is a study in what dedication and being ready to do the dirty work will get you. Trust and believe, you shall be inspired.

Like this, but with everyone in heels. peopleinspirepeople

The thought process Sophia has is brought out very clearly in the book. The reader is able to look at how this successful entrepreneur reasons things out, compared to how you yourself think. Some things that seem obvious had actually never occurred to me: a shoplifter that steals books to resell on eBay isn’t a new concept, but the fact that Sophia would first check what books were Amazon bestsellers to know what would sell off eBay had me like “whaaaaaa?”. That concept can, I believe, be filed under Market Research, demonstrated in the most basic, non-jargon way and applied to real life, albeit in a situation that’s less than favourable.
It’s a great book to sit down with before you start on a new project, or if you have a backlog of things you’re meant to be doing (throws shade at myself) ‘cause for me at least, it presents a new angle to look at things, specifically creative ideas with practical benefits.

The Bad
The book could have ended sooner. By Chapter 5, aptly titled “Money Looks Better in Your Bank than On Your Feet”, I was still nodding vigorously every 3 sentences, like the rave Chihuahua of your dreams. With concrete references to real life situations and decisions, the story being told felt accessible and to the point: I got the book to learn how she got her success & parlay the applicable lessons to my own situation.
Chapter 6, not so much. Here the book veers into Sophia’s personal philosophies & ‘harnessing the magic of the universe’ wahala. I didn’t get it and I didn’t want to. I’m not saying it was a bad thing, I’m saying it wasn’t for me. The rest of the book going forward has a lot more content I’m sure will resonate personally with a lot of readers but I am not the target audience: being a fashion rebel outsider, basic information about the job search and a personal story about a photography project involving a church and so on. I was briefly back in for chapter 9, which focused on the business aspect again, branding, customer service and so on, but stayed firmly #Nope to the end.

The Ugly
Pretty much covered in the mystical magic stuff. I get that the book is about Sophia and her journey, and this was part of it: I’m not knocking it, by all means do you. Having said that, I could have done without it.

Final Verdict
4 out of 5 stars.  Highly recommend, not just for female entrepreneurs but for everyone looking to get a fresh perspective/bounce out of a professional slump/finally finish that book about roguishly handsome pirate Carlos Raul sweeping the innocent chambermaid off her feet with...a magic horse...or his hair powers.

Not actually in the book. via nastygal

Go ye forth and enjoy.
It's that 'posts with misleading titles' time again! *blasts glitter cannon* Previous shawarmy goodness can be found here, and an Internet Explorer pox upon ye who do not go check them out. Threats are a great way to make friends, btw. Let's hop to it, yes?

Dress code: badass. bloody-disgusting

1. Reading
#GirlBoss, The Richest Man in Babylon and holding on to “If I Stay” to see if I’ll get around to it. I’m half way one with a review of #GirlBoss, which hopefully will see the light of day and not fade into the back alley of my drafts folder like so many others. It was self-improvement week, people!
via nastygal which I only just found out about because FASHUN

2. Watching
The Strain. Y’all. Y’ALL. I don’t even remotely know what to say. The series is slow to start, but you must persevere beyond the first two episodes because it is WORTH IT. If you’re a germophobe whose idea of literal Hell is waking up to news that a highly contagious, unidentified epidemic just arrived on the scene *cough* Ebola *cough* *cough*, the first two episodes will be d.i.s.t.u.r.b.i.n.g.

My lingerie henceforth. braladder

With a bunch of jump scares tied in, you will at some point come to the conclusion that the only way to get over what you’ve just seen (and be free of contamination) is to set yourself on fire. Do not do this. Instead, text a friend or person you hate a live recap of every minute, complete with hysterical commentary and suggestions to stock up on antiseptic.
From episode 3 going forward, you will most certainly have favourite characters to root for, as the stars are well written, layered and complicated like normal humans. Also stupid, like the scientist who refuses to…you know what? I’ll spare you the spoiler. When you see it, you’ll know what scene I mean & you should tweet me your variation of “Seriously? SERIOUSLY???”.
I’ve only seen the first 5 episodes so far and I’m already fan girl number 1. #TeamVasily
By all means, join the dark side.

*puppy eyes* io9

3. Listening To
My inner ninja! This is both a new agey proclamation and a song title, which you should listen to because the video is adorbz. New word.
Also listening to a series of inspirational videos I’m assuming were meant for bodybuilders but also apply to bloggers who haven’t run in 6 years but need the hype to be productive that day. There’s obviously a pretty wide variety of options to choose from, but my current favourites are helpfully chronicled nowhere because I'm encouraging you to be self sufficient..

Don't give me that look businessbee

For Laziness and terrible lifestyle choices, this has been Evey G. *is played out by Avicii*